Slugs and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails
by gote
Summary: "What are you?" You don't mean to sound rude, you're always getting in trouble for that. And really, you meant to ask who he was, but this question seems just as suitable. - He grins, squinting in the sunlight. "I'm a Lorcan."


**Slugs and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails**

You're wearing a freshly pressed dress and your hair is clean, smelling like strawberries and hanging in perfect ringlets over your shoulder. You're inside, a book open in your lap as you stare out the window into the world beyond.

He's a little boy with messy blonde hair, full of leaves and sticks. There's dirt smudged across his freckly face and mud on his tattered jeans. You have no idea how he even got onto your property but he's about your age and Molly never wants to play with you any more so you put down your book and you get to your feet. Then you pause, wavering uncertainly.

The boy beckons to you, his mischievous grin infectious, and you're sick of merely reading about adventures so you run to the door. With one last cautious glance over your shoulder to check no one's watching, you slide open the door and slip outside.

He stands there under the clothesline and only you now you notice that he's sopping wet.

"What are you?" You don't mean to sound rude, you're always getting in trouble for that. And really, you meant to ask who he was, but this question seems just as suitable.

He grins, squinting in the sunlight. "I'm a Lorcan." He looks up at the clothes above his head and you rather wish your underwear wasn't up there. It isn't that he fixates upon, though, but one of your father's silly hats. He pulls it off and on puts it on. It slides right down over his eyes and you giggle. "What are you?"

"My name's Lucy."

He scrunches up his nose. "Weird."

You object to this. "Lorcan is much stranger," you tell him.

"No, it isn't."

You don't really know what to say to this. What does make Lorcan stranger than Lucy? They don't even sound that different. Lorcan and Lucy. You like how they sound together. "That's my daddy's hat," you say instead.

"It looks better on me," he says, and reaches up and tugs on your pink frilly knickers.

"It _doesn't _and leave them alone!"

"Why? Are they yours? I think they'll make an even better hat." He removes the actual hat, throwing it to the ground.

You're horrified. "You shouldn't even be here! I'll tell my mum on you."

"That's okay, I could take her. I'm a wizard."

You cannot believe him. "You're not meant to tell people that!"

"Are you one too?"

You nod.

"That's funny. I didn't know boys wore such frilly underwear." Lorcan reaches up and pulls them down, holding them out in front of him. He tips his head on the side as he inspects them.

You snatch them from his hand, your speed catching him off guard. You grin triumphantly but that moment is your downfall. He snatches them right back off you, turns and runs away. For a moment you're lost at what to do and worried that you'll be in trouble, but you can't just let him escape. You run.

You're out of breath in a minute and you've lost him in the trees. Your house backs onto a forest, a place your mother loves and your father tolerates for her sake. "Lorcan!" You try to sound threatening but your voice is swallowed up by your surroundings. "I'll curse you, I will." You don't mention that you don't even own a wand, and that even if you were eleven you wouldn't have the slightest idea how curse anyone or even do any magic at all. "Ow!"

You spin around and there he is, hanging upside from a tree branch like some sort of monkey boy. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

He ignores your question, yet drops down onto the ground beside you. You flinch when he makes contact with the ground and for a moment worry if he's okay. That moment only lasts as long as it takes to remember he stole your knickers, ran away, hid from you and, finally, pulled your hair. He sidles up closer to you than you think you're meant to allow boys to do and for a moment you consider pulling his hair in revenge. It sure is long enough for you to do so, but you resist. You also don't step away.

"Let me tell you a secret," he whispers, right into your ear. "I'm on the run."

This in no way surprises you. Of course he's a criminal. "Who from?"

"A most ferocious and hideous beast, a true monster-"

You don't believe him until he breaks off mid-sentence. A thunderous war cry sounds through the wood. You could swear it shakes the leaves from the trees and vibrates the ground beneath your feet.

Lorcan grabs your hand. "Run!"

You do as he says, both your feet pounding against the ground and your breath coming in ragged puffs. You're unsure of even the direction you're running or where you've come from. All you can do is hope you're heading for safety. You may not even truly believe there's a true danger because this is the most fun you've had since Teddy and Victoire took you camping and Teddy fell in the river while trying to catch fish with his bare hands.

A screams breaks through the quiet. It comes from you.

There's Lorcan, cutting you off from the front. He holds a huge stick triumphantly in the air and has war paint stripes lining his cheeks. He lets out that cry once again.

But Lorcan's also right beside you.

"There's two of you!" you exclaim, right as you realise.

The first Lorcan laughs. "This is my sworn enemy and brother. He's a Lysander. Ly, this is a Lucy."

Lysander lowers the stick. "You've saved the fair maiden?"

You think he's quite insane, but Lorcan nods like its entirely reasonable. "Yes."

Lysander grins. "The mission is a success. Will you marry her then?"

Your mouth falls open and your eyes would probably fall out, if they weren't quite attached to your head.

"No, that is gross."

You agree with Lorcan, you do, but you're also offended. "I am not gross!"

"You are. You showed me your knickers."

"I did not, you stole them."

Lysander stares from you to his brother and back again. When he speaks he is solemn. "Well you're going to have to marry now."

Will you? You don't know if that's how it works.

"We will not," objects Lorcan.

"You will. I can see it, it's going to happen."

And the thing is, he's right. Eventually, you do.


End file.
